The dog whined quietly as the alarm clock screamed relentlessly stirring me from my sleep. I rolled over on the bed to find that you were gone again.... or more appropriately, to find that I was alone again. My mind grasped to solidify scenes that flash from the night before; like dreams that escape from your grip as you struggle to hold onto them just long enough to remember. I pulled your pillow over to me and buried my face in it, inhaling the final remnants of you, filling my body with every breath as I fought to keep myself from falling back to sleep.
I stirred from my sleep again to the dogs anxiously barking. The alarm had silenced itself in exhaustion of trying to wake that which may as well have been dead. With every ounce of strength I could muster I sat up in the bed. A single cigarette was laying on the dresser beside a clean ashtray. The room spun as I began to smoke, and I realized that my contacts were still in, which meant that I didn't even make it to bed on my own. And just as I remembered your promise that you would be here when I woke up, my phone began to ring.
"Good morning Jaydon! I'm sorry I didn't call you back last night!" Christy said in a voice that was way too cheery for this early in the morning.
"Idlanevarimbarcaliyi", even I didn't have any idea what I was trying to say.
"Another good night I take it?"
"Idon'tknow,verybadreactionfromnewmedicationIthink" I rubbed my eyes obsessively
"Well I didn't mean to wake you, have a great day Jaydon!"
"Yeahthanks,youtooChristy" I found myself rubbing my entire face now, trying to coax out a more aware level of consciousness like some kind of fucking genie.
I crushed out my cigarette in the ash tray, unflinchingly burning my my finger in the process. I got up out of bed and put on the pair of jeans laying beside it, and began to stumble my way to the bathroom. I stepped on a piece of a broken glass on the floor shouting some some obscenity as I continued to limp unwaveringly to the bathroom where I promptly emptied the nothing in my stomach before removing the glass from my foot.
And I knew it was going to be one of those days......