I kissed you good-bye one last time, flashing a small smile and an almost silent giggle as I looked into your eyes just before turning around and walking away. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I whispered to myself as walked out into the parking lot and to my car. I knew deep down that this is probably not where I'm supposed to be. But I don't care, I'm happy; something I haven't been able to say in years.
Self-sacrifice is something that I'm really not as acustomed to as I should be, but it's something that I am going to need a lot of to get me through this next year. And while I'm never alone, I know I will be feeling a lot of lonliness. I have quite the mess to clean up, I'm not even sure where to begin.
And in our ugliness, in our fucked-up expectations and desires, would anyone else see the beauty that we adore each other so much for? Or will we continue to be seen only as the train-wreck we undoubtedly are?
The decision has been made, the fears are foolishly subsiding. A new road appears before me. It's time to put aside my selfishness, my wallowing in the past, and move forward into what I have always feared the most: tomorrow.
Welcome to DyingAngel.net: XII. This is work in progress, so you'll continue to see small changes over the next week or so. Special thanks to Za for the photography and make-up (I'm still pissed that you refused to use a real razor!).
I've added several new features. There is a link at the bottom of the journal page to "Subscribe". This will notify you via email when a new post is made to my blog.
If you have "special access", make sure you are logged in before you subscribe to ensure that you are notified of new posts that are hidden from the public.
The archive page now has a link where you can view the long list of all entries. Also some entries will appear highlighted, these are entries that are my personal favorites, or memorable, and worth reading.
I've added a link to my RSS feeds for my blog, photoblog, and gallery. Eventually I would like to roll this into one feed but I don't really have the time or patience to do that yet.
For those that have access to all my poems, they will have a status for each one… "Completed", "Unfinished", and "Rewrite" (needs to be rewritten).